The Aftermath of Chell
by BellaZelda8
Summary: Chell faces inner demons after her escape from Aperture Science (told from Chell's point of view)
1. Chapter 1

The nightmares are a cross between hallucinations and dubstep. With screaming, beating music, GLaDOS attacks my sleep, and I receive sharp images flashing and constantly moving across my mind. My body shakes all over, and I know I'm asleep. Yet I don't wake. I can't wake.

I see myself running thru the facility, with the portal gun. But instead of the portals transporting me away from GLaDOS, who is chasing me, they transport me even closer. I see my mouth open to scream, but nothing comes out. "I've got a surprise for you…" she taunts me. I can't say a word. I can only jump through my portals, trying to get away. But I can't.

"YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!" She shrieks at me. I try to say, "No! No!" but nothing comes out. I jump through one last portal, but I land in my relaxation vault. "I honestly didn't think you would fall for that… you monster."

I dart awake, in a cold sweat, panting.

No, no.

_Chell? You're okay. You're fine._

I spin around. Companion cube? But there's no one. That's very strange.

I've never heard voices before. Nightmares… those I've had.

But this is different. I heard this. And why do I think its companion cube? I never went insane like the person who drew the pictures on the wall… not like the other test subjects. I didn't let GLaDOS get to me, not then. I guess… it's weird. It didn't affect me then. It affects me now.

I role out of bed, and stretch. I go over to my calendar, and mark off a day. Another day free.

Another day alone.

My mornings consist of a daily routine. Breakfast, shower, and then a jog. I usually spend my afternoons cooped up in my townhouse, surfing the internet, reading books, and baking cakes. Aperture Science paid me a lot of money to be a test subject.

Especially because of my parents.

But I don't know who they are. It just said on my file. "Chell J. Salary: 2,000 U.S. Dollars. Extra: 1,000,000 U.S. dollars (Parental Request)". I assume my parents had some authority in Aperture. But I don't really like to think about it.

I shower and change. I go out for a jog, always looking over my shoulder. I know I'm safe. But…

I can't believe it.

_Chell, you're safe. You don't need to worry. You've got me, your companion. You're okay._

What? Who said that?! I spin around. I start to say something, but no one is there. Was it just in my head?

Was it my head?

It's never happened before. I'm sure I heard someone… it sounded like…

_Right, hello, Chell! What in bloody dazes are you doing? _

I turn around again, but no one's there. Wheatley?

I don't understand this.

I'm scared.

Faint memories rush back to me. Memories of mad ramblings. Scared, terrified, crazed ramblings, in secluded areas. Memories of cans of beans, drawings, and paper.

I need to go home. I need to look something up.


	2. Chapter 2

I go to Google. I type in, "Aperture Science test subjects" I click on the link that goes to Aperture Science test subjects profiles. A list of pictures appears, along with written profiles.

Danielle Roberts: 19 years of age

5 foot 3 inches 121 lbs Blond hair; green eyes; Caucasian Status: Deceased Other: N\A

The picture shows a pretty blond girl with green eyes.

I scroll and scroll, not sure what I'm looking for. Just… something. Something to do with the voice. Something to do with…

Art.

Sometimes, as a test subject, I'd find places. Secret places. Places with pictures. There were all kinds of paint drawings of all kinds of different things. The companion cube was a very common sight to see in these areas. I even saw…

I even saw me.

And the paint was new when I saw me. So… someone was watching me.

I keep scrolling.

My eyes see hundreds of smiling faces. I sigh sadly. They didn't know what was going to hit them. Some say deceased (meaning they were killed in Aperture), or unknown (meaning they were probably in the relaxation vaults that Wheatley was supposed to be watching). But they're all dead now. Except the last one. Me.

My profile says:

Chell J: Age unknown (possible mid-twenties)

Height unknown 140 lbs (?) Brown hair; Grey-blue eyes; Asian-Caucasian mix Status: Unknown Other: Adopted; Extremely stubborn

There's no picture of me. Just a blank space that says, "No picture available". I sigh. Unknown.

That pretty much explains me to the entire world.

I am unknown.

_No you're not Chell. I know you. I love you. Oh, I wish you'd come back to me…_

I grab my head. Stop it, stop it, stop it. What is that voice?! I shake my head violently. Maybe it'll clear. Maybe I'm going crazy. I don't know. Whoever you are, go away, my mind shouts.

I wait a few seconds. Nothing. I sigh, and turn to my computer. I randomly click on the scroll bar, and something pops out at me. A link to employee profiles. Without a second thought, I click it. The third profile stares me in the face.

A man. A particular man with a particular profile.

Doug Rattmann: 39 years of age

5 foot 8 inches 157 lbs Brown hair; grey eyes; Caucasian Status: Unknown Other: Schizophrenic; Obsessed with art

Obsessed with art. Unknown. What's… schizophrenic?

I open a new tab, and type it in.

Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia is a challenging disorder that makes it difficult to distinguish between what is real and unreal, think clearly, manage emotions, relate to others, and function normally. ( mental/schizophrenia_ )

Is this me? I…

Relate to others? I don't have friends. I never talk to anyone. I'm alone and unknown.

Function normally? I think so…

Manage emotions? I don't really feel emotions, except fear and anxiety.

Think clearly… Real and unreal….

I open another new tab, and type in, "do people with schizophrenia hear voices". I click on the second link ( mental/schizophrenia_ ), and find the paragraph I'm looking for:

'People with the disorder may hear voices other people don't hear. They may believe other people are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them. This can terrify people with the illness and make them withdrawn or extremely agitated.'

Is that… is that me? Hearing voices? GLaDOS reading my mind?

Is that me?


	3. Chapter 3

No… I can't be schizophrenic. How is it I survived all of Aperture Science without so much as a word, but in the aftermath my life is over?

_Your life isn't over Chell. It's just beginning. I'm with you Chell. You're okay. Trust me, trust me…_

That isn't the companion cube.

It's GLaDOS.

I roll out of chair onto the floor, trying to avoid the voice in my head. I grab the Portal gun, and turn to aim. But there's nothing there. And my mind is empty.

I fall onto my knees, tears rolling. I can't be schizophrenic. I don't want to turn out like Doug Rattmann, to watch people and obsess over things, never thinking I'm safe. But I am like that, I tell myself. I breathe a sigh of relief at my thought. I can still think for myself, and at myself. I have a little control over my mind.

Am I really like that? I know GLaDOS was plotting to kill me. I KNOW. But… am I still afraid of her?

Yes, I am.

Reality catches up with me. I look down at my hands, where I'm still grasping the Handheld Portal Device. Realizing what I'm doing, I fling it across the room. I haven't touched it in months. It's just been sitting on the counter collecting dust. I try to keep it out of reach of my grasp when I'm in bed, so I don't wreck anything during my nightmares. But…

I need to do something about this.

I study the link some more. Are there any help groups?

_No Chell, you don't need help. Do you hear me Chell? You're fine._

I pound the desk with my fist. NO I'M NOT, my thoughts scream at the invisible being. LEAVE ME ALONE!

_But Chell, we're meant for each other. We're companions._

YOU'RE INCINERATED, COMPANION CUBE! GO AWAY! My thoughts violently yell back.

_Fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty-fatty no parents._ Wheatley tells me.

GO AWAY! I grab my jacket, pull it on, and run out the door. I jump on my bike and start to ride. Riding, riding, riding anywhere. Just away from my house.

I go to the doctor office, and make an appointment.

…..

3 days later, I find myself sitting in the doctor's office, my foot tapping the tiled floor. Why did I check myself into here?

_I agree Chell. Why did you? Why are you even here?_

Shut up, GLaDOS.

I didn't know my thoughts could be so mean.

"Chell? Dr. Read can see you now." A short nurse calls to me. I walk over to her, and she points to the room. I enter.

"Chell? Hello, I'm Dr. David Read. What's your last name?" A tall, skinny man greets me, with a file in his hand. Instead of answering, I take the file and write out all the info. I know my initials, Chell J. So I decide to make up a name, Chell Johnson. I guess everything else, and then hand it back to him.

"This is you?" He asks.

I nod.

"Okay, Chell, why are you here?"

I try to speak, but it's difficult. I grab the file again and write down, "Schizophrenia" and then hand it back. The doctor's eyebrows go up, and he looks at me. "Is that why you don't like to talk, Chell? You can't organize your speech?"

I shrug.

He manages to get some information out of me by him asking questions and me writing down answers. He then prescribes me a bottle of pills, hands me some leaflets for help centers, and gives me his card with his phone number and email address. "If you ever want to talk, you can email me or call me. Good luck, Chell." He pats me on the back, and I leave. "We're praying for you, Chell." Two of the nurses say in unison.

I just stare at them, and then leave. I toss the pills into a trashcan. I don't like pills. I don't like to be controlled.

_Chell, let's not do that again. Let's just go home._ The companion cube says.

I shake my head, hoping it'll clear, and pedal faster. By the time I get home, there are so many voices in my head there's no room for my own. I start to cry.

I grab my phone and dial the number on the card. "Hello?"

I don't say anything, I just cry into the phone.

"Is this Chell?"

I cry harder.

"I'm guessing this is Chell. Chell, listen to me. I don't want to hurt you, I'm not trying to hurt you. Do you know that? Those voices aren't real, Chell. You're the real one. Those voices can't hurt you. I know they're scary, but they really aren't. You can overcome them, Chell, with a little bit of help."

I sniffle, and calm down a little bit.

"Are you listening to me, Chell?"

"Y-" I say, trying to say yes, but I choke.

"You alright, Chell? You're going to be fine. Listen to my voice: I want you to call the numbers I listed for you."

"C-can't." I choke out.

"Do you want me to call them for you? Why don't I do that? I'll call you back. Try listening to some music, okay Chell?" I nod, even though he can't see me. I hang up, and go online, looking for a song. I bring up a band called Flyleaf, trying to block out the voices in my head. I listen to a song called "Call You Out" and start to cry again. "Your time's up now, that's enough now. Shut up get out, truth calls you out" (Author: This is a real song!; I don't own it).

I start to sing it quietly to myself, awaiting the phone call.

_Stop bloody singing!_ Wheatley shouts.

I stop, and start to cry again.


	4. Chapter 4

My phone rings. I pick it up with shaking hands. "Hm?" I weep into the phone.

"Chell, it's me, Dr. Read. I called one of the help centers, and they're willing to help you. They want to know whether you'd like to check into a rehab place, or whether you'd like to attend a group."

_No, Chell! _Wheatley screeches into my ear. _Don't do it! Don't leave us! I'll follow you, you know. _

_You can't escape me, Chell. _GLaDOS chides me.

I sob into my phone again. "Chell? Send me an email right now, write me your answers."

"D-don't! L-l-leave me," I cry.

"I'm going to stay right here on the phone with you, Chell. Just open up your email and send me the info. I've got my account open right here, Chell."

I didn't have an email, so he had to explain to me how to create one, which was a little difficult, but I got one. "I'm going to give you a few minutes to make your decision, Chell, but I'm going to stay right here on the phone."

"I-I can't. I-I…"

The voices are running rampant through my head, non-stop, constant. I fall off my chair and lie on the floor, sobbing and weak. They won't stop. GLaDOS, taunting me with her insults, Wheatley informing of how worthless I am, and the Companion Cube, screeching not to listen to them and to listen to it.

I hang up the phone, and just cry.

…

"Open the door, police!" Someone pounds on my door.

_The police! Oh, this is grand. Look what you did, idiot!_ Wheatley says.

I don't get up. I can't get up. I just want to sleep.

They kick open my door, and 4 big men rush in, with two ladies, Dr. Read right behind them. "Oh, Chell!" He shouts. The two ladies rush over to me, and one of them touches my face. I stare at her. "She's alive alright!" One of the ladies shouts at the men.

The load me onto a stretcher, and I'm transported to a hospital. They inject me with some sort of medicine, and I fall asleep.

Finally away from my inner demons.

…

I wake up in a room that's not mine. The blankets and sheets are crisp and white. The walls are white, and the lights are cold and white. Everything is white, except for my clothes. I'm wearing a blue shirt and black trousers. I look around, in a gaze, when I get a horrible thought:

Extended Relaxation Vault.

No, no. I can't be here. Not again.

I jump out of bed, and look around for my Long Fall Boots, but there are only black slippers. I ignore them, and run over to the door. I peek my head out, looking for Turrets. There's just long white hallways. I wait for a portal to open, but nothing occurs. Impatient, I duck down the hallway, and look over the corner. I notice my hands are in the position of holding the Portal Gun.

_You'll get it soon_ says GLaDOS' voice over the intercom. I ignore her.

I turn the corner, and run smack into another person. Another test subject? I stare at her wildly.

"Chell Johnson? What are you doing outside your room?" She gasps. I move past her.

"Chell, stop!" She calls after me. I faintly hear she say something, but I ignore her. Need to get out. Need to get home.

Suddenly, 2 men in black suits are storming down the hallway. Party Escort Bots? I don't remember them looking like that. I stop and stare at them. "Chell Johnson, you need to come with us." One of them says. I shake my head, but they take my arms, and lead me back to the relaxation vault.

I shake my head violently. I can't be here. I need to get out. I need to escape Aperture.

"Chell? It's me, Dr. Read. Chell, are you okay?" My friend David read comes into the room. I gasp. I'm not in Aperture Science. Then…

I hold my hands out for a piece of paper. He understands, and hands me one, and a pen. "Where am I?" I scribble. "You're at Momento Mental Hopsital. Do you remember coming here?" I shake my head.

"We're going to help you here."

**1 YEAR LATER**

"So, you're going to be okay?" Dr. Read takes my hand, concern filling his eyes.

I nod.

"Okay. We're going to have you fill out some paperwork, and then you're free to go. But, you'll still have therapy sessions with Ms. Yets 3 times a week, and we'll go to that help group 2 times a week together, okay?"

I smile, and nod. I want to make him proud.

There are tears in his eyes. He pulls me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you…" he says. I hug him back, the closest thing I have to a father. "T-thank you." I say.

He pulls away, and looks at my face. "Keep getting used to talking, okay? It's healthy for human beings to talk." I frown, and he smiles.

"I know it's not going to be easy, but you'll get through this. Really you will."

I nod, and tears fall, but I smile through them.

I wave goodbye to him, knowing I'll see him in 2 days, and then I load into the ambulance. My nurse, Vicky, is there sitting with me. She gives me some papers with help info, and gives me advice. When the ambulance arrives at my house, she hugs me tightly. "You'll do fine." She says. "God bless you." And with that, I climb out. I opted for the no-help option, but they'll have someone stop by tonight to see how I'm doing.

_Welcome home, _the Companion Cube says. I stop, and sit down. I take deep breaths, and listen. Okay, today there's Companion Cube and Wheatley. I imagine them standing next to me. "Go away." I say outloud, calmly. "You're not here, and you can't hurt me."

After a few seconds, they disappear. I don't visualize them anymore, and I can't hear them anymore. If I really believe what I'm saying, I can make them go away.

The hard part is believing what I'm saying.

…

I stand outside the help group center. "You okay?" David asks.

I nod.

"You prepared?" He asks.

I nod again.

"Are you ready?"

I shake my head.

He takes my hand. "We can do this. I'm with you, Chell. You've got me, and this will help you overall." I sigh, nod, and then take a step forward.

For once, the voice I'm hearing helps me.


End file.
